In no particular order: Dancing with my partner, dancing with my friends, dancing with random new folks, singing, dancing, writing, dancing, cooking, dancing…
Hmmm… there seems to be a trend there. I’ll have to spend some time on that, maybe set up a spreadsheet to see if I can figure it out…
When you’re making a list of your favorite things, your list will tell you a lot about your “happiness quotient.” If you struggle to even make a list at all, then maybe it’s time to take a step back and do a pretty tough self-evaluation. The Doctor read a brilliant quote recently: “If you keep having the same problem, chances are you are the problem.”
What are you bringing to the dance community? What are you expecting from the dance community? Success in your dance world has numerous correlations to success in any partnership.
A member of our dance community sent the Doctor a link to an article from BusinessInsider.com on the success of personal relationships. The gist of the article is this: the success of relationships comes down to the spirit brought into it. Do you bring kindness and generosity, or do you bring contempt, criticism, and hostility? (http://www.businessinsider.com/lasting-relationships-rely-on-2-traits-2014-11)
When you are in class, do you find every opportunity to smile, to tell your partner, “That was great! Thank you for the dance!” Or are you just itching to tell your partner what they need to be doing better/faster/differently?
The Dance Doctor can guarantee you that people who are successful in *any* relationship have one specific trait: Generosity. Quick—what’s the first thing you think of in a person you love to be around. The Doctor would bet good, hard cash that you answered, “Their smile. Their laugh. Their generosity.”
Now, what’s the first thing you think about in the people you love to ask to dance? Betcha it’s that they smile when they dance with you. That they laugh when there’s a bobble. That they just have fun dancing. If they have fabulous technique, that’s certainly a bonus, but isn’t the first thing on your list.
So take a pen and a piece of paper and write down a few of your favorite things. And then start a list of how you’re going to adjust your attitude to raise your happiness quotient to the roof.
If you have any questions or comments for the Dance Doctor, please send them to DanceDoctor@austinuptowndance.com.